A Mother's Love
by CatLady4
Summary: Poor Dis. All we know about her from Tolkien is that she was Fili and Kili's mother. In this "What If" I write to give her a voice:Thorin returns from his meeting with Gandalf in Bree. While he is mostly excited about the possibility of returning to Erebor, his sister Dis has another opinion. One-shot complete.


I've always felt compassion for poor Dis. All we really have is a name and nothing more. Here is a tale to give her a voice in the adventure that will take her sons and brother away from her. Enjoy and review!

A Mother's Love

The night was dark. Only a sliver of moon shone among the thin clouds as a lone figure climbed slowly along the road. It had been a long, tiring journey and all he wanted to do was sit in his chair by the fire.

The mountains he had called home for decades loomed ahead. When he finally reached the gate, a lone guard challenged him. 'It is Thorin Oakenshield, Moin. I've returned at last.'

Moin lowered his axe and bowed. 'I did not expect anyone at this time of night. It is good to see you back home, my lord.'

Thorin nodded. 'I would have stopped, but I longed to be home. What news?' he asked.

'No changes. Dwalin returned last week and Gloin is expected soon,' the guard replied.

'Good, good. And the Lady Dis? Has she returned?

'Yes, my lord, early yesterday. She seemed in fine spirits if I may say,' Moin commented.

'Excellent. Please leave word that I will call on her in the morning.' With that, he entered his hall. It was a poor replacement for Erebor, but he had ceased to make the comparison long ago.

He reached the door to his chambers, turned the key in the lock and entered. The main room was dark and cheerless. The air had the stale smell of disuse. He had been gone longer than expected. Fortunately, his servant always kept the fire ready. He knelt and quickly started it with his flint. Soon a cheery blaze relieved some of the gloom and began to remove the chill.

The dwarf set aside his pack and sword and took off his cloak. Settling at last into his chair before the fire, he thought of the unusual meeting at the _Prancing Pony_.He had gone to Bree to deliver a commission and to see if he could scrounge up any new business. Work had been scarce over the last few months and he had hoped to come back with some new undertakings for his people.

He leaned back and sighed. There was nothing like a journey to make one appreciate the comforts of home. His eyes closed. He was one hundred and ninety-five. Not ancient for a dwarf, but no longer young. At this time in his life, he should be looking forward to a comfortable old age. Instead he was left with a decision to make. He had thought that the old yearning was long gone or at least deeply buried. Now a chance meeting in Bree had released it from its prison.

For many years after the dragon stole his inheritance, he had burned with the fire of revenge. However, those flames had faded with time, age and further loss. He had tried to forget but it was apparently not to be.

His mind wandered as he remembered all those lost to dragon, orc or act of war. His grandfather, father, brother and countless companions who should be with him now as he ruled Erebor were gone along with his throne. His birthright had been stolen and it ate away at his mind even now more than one hundred years later.

The encounter in Bree had served to fan the old flames from smoldering embers to white hot flames. As he prepared to return to the Ered Luin, a tall gray figure had entered the inn and drawn everyone's attention. A man standing next to Thorin had muttered, 'That wizard. I wonder what brings him here. Some say he brings bad luck to the unwary.'

The word 'wizard' caught in Thorin's ear and he turned and looked over at the man. 'Wizard, do you mean the one they call Gandalf? I have never seen him before. Is that him?'

'Aye, for good or evil, that's him. He hasn't been seen around here in ages, but I remember him from when I was a little boy. He does have some nice fireworks; I'll say that for him.' The man's eyes got the faraway look of someone remembering a pleasant evening under a summer moon but they quickly returned to the present. 'If I was you, I would head in another direction. They say odd things happen whenever he appears. Fireworks or no, I'm off to my home right now. I want nothing to do with wizards and their ilk. No good can come of it.' The man stomped off, being careful to come no closer to the tall figure than he had to in order to make his escape.

His words only served to pique the dwarf's interest. He too had heard of Gandalf and was interested in making his acquaintance. Rather than leaving, he took a seat among the tables that filled the common room. He watched as the wizard talked with the barkeep and then made himself comfortable before the fire.

Whether from his magical skills or because Thorin made no effort to hide his interest, the wizard eventually became aware that he was being closely scrutinized by the dwarf. Picking up his mug of ale, he stood and walked over to the table. 'May I join you? I feel the need for some conversation this fine day.' His voice was low and refined, exactly what you would expect from a wizard. His face was weather-beaten and looked as though its owner bore the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Thorin motioned to the opposite chair. 'Help yourself. I will be leaving soon, but you are welcome to join me for a few moments. My name is Thorin. And you are?'

Gandalf raised his eyebrows and looked at the dwarf quizzically. 'How odd. You wouldn't by any chance be Thorin _Oakenshield_?'

Thorin felt a chill run down his spine as the wizard said his name. Remembering the words of the villager, he hesitated before saying, 'Yes, yes I am. You've heard of me?' He was famous among the dwarves, but he didn't really think any foreigners would know of him.

'I know many things from many times and places. I have heard of you and, as a matter of fact, have thought of your people quite a bit lately.' The wizard took a sip of his ale. 'My name is Gandalf, in case you have not already been informed of that fact.' He was quite aware of the comments he usually caused wherever he went.

Thorin nodded his head to acknowledge the name. Why would a wizard or anyone be thinking of dwarves at all? They were usually ignored if at all possible. 'I have heard of you but never thought our paths would cross. It is only luck that we meet today. Another few minutes and I would have been on my way home, which I should be doing right now.' He put his hands on the table and made to rise.

'Certainly you can spare an old man a few minutes of your time? I would discuss the North with you,' Gandalf's voice suddenly became seemingly old and feeble.

'The North? There is nothing to discuss about the North. That is long gone and forgotten,' Thorin lied. 'The dragon rules and we do not have the strength or the will to fight him. It is best to leave things as they are.' Even as he said the words, the embers flared with renewed anger and a wish to reclaim his legacy.

As the wizard looked at him with his all-knowing eyes, Thorin got the feeling that Gandalf knew exactly what lay within his heart and mind.

'Truly? You have no interest in the activities of Smaug?' Gandalf asked.

'And what if I did? What business is it of yours?' Thorin asked belligerently. 'No one has ever offered to help us before, I see no point in it now. The dragon is there and there he will remain in my lifetime.'

Gandalf could feel the sudden anger and rage rolling off the dwarf in front of him. Thorin's eyes blazed with hatred for all the slights he had suffered over the years after the loss of his kingdom and his throne. 'I have an interest in the North for my own reasons. Smaug could present a very dangerous obstacle in the future. If he were to be destroyed, my life would be that much easier. You honestly have no desire to reclaim Erebor?'

Thorin closed his eyes and tried to calm the emotions that this wizard had awoken in him with so few words. Could this be what the man had meant? Was he under some spell or enchantment? He had always been quick to anger, but this seemed to come out of nowhere. He had no intention of being a pawn in someone else's game. 'Desire? Of course I have a desire to regain Erebor, but it is a hopeless one. There are no vast dwarf armies any longer and even if there were, they would be of no use against Smaug. He defeated us at the height of our power and glory. Now we are but a remnant of a lost kingdom. They would laugh me out of the Ered Luin if I told them we were going to assail Smaug in his lair.'

'No, no army. That was not my thinking. It would have to be a more subtle approach.' The wizard leaned forward conspiratorially. 'Perhaps a small company would succeed where an army fails. It would require some planning, but now that I have met you an idea is growing in my mind.'

'And just who would provide for this "small company"? I have no money to support such a venture. Lately things have been a bit 'er, tight.' Even though Thorin wore a gold chain about his neck, his ready cash supply was quite low.'

Gandalf smiled. 'These things have a way of working themselves out. I have other things to tend to for the next few days. Could we meet again at your hall and discuss it further? Perhaps by then I will have more to tell. We really cannot delay too long. It is imperative to do it soon.'

Once again Thorin wondered what this wizard was trying to draw him into, but he saw little risk in listening to his proposal. Besides, he would have Balin at his side to act as judge also. 'That would be acceptable.' He rose abruptly and picked up his pack. 'I will look for you in my hall.'

Gandalf nodded and raised his mug in a toast. 'To a successful meeting, Thorin Oakenshield. I see great things ahead for us!'

…..

So now Thorin sat in his chair reviewing the situation. Away from Gandalf, his ardor had once again begun to cool. It was all so long ago and far away. He did have good life here. He was still the leader even if they didn't call him king. They were relatively comfortable. Things were a bit slow right now, but he knew they would pick up with the coming of summer. He rose and prepared for bed. In the morning he would talk it over with Balin and Dis see how it all looked in the light of day.

….

Balin was willing to do anything his old friend requested of him, but Dis was another story. Thorin had joined her for breakfast and was pleased to find her in a good mood. They exchanged news of their recent activities and then he broached the topic of returning to Erebor. 'The wizard thinks it is an ideal time to make the attempt,' he said after he explained the tentative plan.

Dis stared at her brother. It always amazed her, the affect that gold had on dwarf-men. Even the slightest hint of it would send them off on the most harebrained quest. Now here was one plan she had never expected to hear even suggested. 'You want to take a small company of dwarves and see what Smaug is up to? On the word of some wizard?' She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. 'Just who are you intending to take with you?' Certainly he wouldn't be so foolish would he?

Thorin cleared his throat uncomfortably. 'Well, Dwalin, Balin, Oin and Gloin, of course. Perhaps Dori and his brothers.' Now he shifted under her glare as he added, 'A few more perhaps, and Fili and Kili.'

'You intend to take _my_ boys on this exercise in futility? What are you thinking, Thorin? Not only are they still very young, but you would put all of the last direct heirs of Durin at risk! What if you were all killed? I would have no one left! Thorin, I have already lost almost everyone dear to me! Please don't finish the job in one blow!' Her heart beat in dread at the thought of yet more tragedy for her family.

He had not thought of this adventure in quite these terms. 'Well, yes, there is a risk. There is always a risk, but Gandalf thinks there is a chance of success….' He trailed off as her glare became even more intense.

'Gandalf! If I hear that name one more time, Thorin, I'll scream. You were content before he stirred the pot. Now you are talking of taking my boys out into the wilderness on the word of someone you just met!'

Thorin did his best to calm her fears. 'But he is a _wizard_, Dis, a _wizard_! With him at my side, there is no telling what may result! I could finally be King Under the Mountain, after all these years!' His voice broke with the long unspoken desire.

Dis heard the emotion and knew she was defeated. At least for now, she would let this venture proceed. She would need to come up with some other idea. Talking to Thorin was of little use. 'Very well, I will wait until this wizard of yours arrives. Perhaps he will listen to reason.' She stood and began to pile the dishes in the center of the table. 'Just know, Thorin, that I will never give this my blessing. I think it is rash and bound to fail.' She turned away before he could see the tears gathering in her eyes.

'Don't worry, little sister. I have no intention of failing.' He stood and left her to her thoughts.

'I am fairly certain our grandfather and father had no intention of failing either,' she said to his retreating back.

….

Gandalf arrived a few days later and he and Thorin spent many hours with Balin and Dwalin planning out the details of supplies and route. When Gandalf saw the list of possible members of the company, he commented, 'I see you have thirteen. A rather unlucky number don't you think?'

Balin looked up in surprise, 'But you make fourteen, Gandalf. Thirteen dwarves and one wizard make fourteen to face the dragon.'

'Even so, I think we will need another member. We will need a burglar when we reach Erebor. Someone the dragon is unfamiliar with and has never smelled before. He is rather well acquainted with dwarf.' He glossed over Balin's comment about already being fourteen. Deep inside he realized he was not being completely honest with these dwarves. Whether he ever actually faced Smaug was not certain as yet. Who knew where the winds of fate would take him in the next few months? He only meant to set the wheels in motion and see where they went. 'I know of a little fellow in the Shire who will suit our purposes. We will start our journey from that point once everyone has gathered the necessary supplies.

Thorin was not pleased to be adding an outsider. 'He will be entitled to a share of the gold? I did not expect that.' Already the idea of Erebor's gold was starting to have an effect on his mind.

'If he does what we need him to do, he will earn a share, Thorin. There is plenty for all. Do not begrudge a reward to anyone who helps you.'

…

Gandalf woke with a jerk. Someone was pounding on his door. The light had faded from the room. He shook his head to clear it. He usually didn't sleep during the day, but after spending the day planning with the dwarves he had dozed off. The comfortable chair and warm fire had done him in. He rose and went to the door where the pounding had continued nonstop.

'I am coming, have a little patience.' He pulled open the door and was confronted by an angry dwarf-woman with a very red face. 'How may I help? Is there an emergency of some sort?' he asked.

The dwarf pushed her way into his room and stood with her hands on her hips. 'What do you think you are doing, wizard,' she asked angrily. 'How dare you try to entice my brother and sons into such a foolish adventure? We are happy here and don't need outsiders tempting us with dreams of lost gold and glory.'

From her words, Gandalf decided this must be Dis, Thorin's sister. He waited for her to stop speaking for a minute, but since she showed no sign of doing so, he interrupted. 'My dear lady, you seem most upset. Whatever is the matter?'

Dis took in a deep breath and continued. 'You know very well what the matter is. I arrive home after a long and tiring trip to find that my brother is intent on visiting that cursed mountain to try and regain his throne. And to top it off, he is taking my sons along! Haven't we suffered enough? Must you drag him back to the place that cost us everything? Who are you to encourage such a thing?' She paused to take another breath as a single tear rolled over her downy cheek.

Gandalf put out a hand and grasped her shoulder. 'Dear lady,' he said again, 'please, sit. I will try and explain.' He motioned her toward a second chair before the fire.

At first it appeared she would refuse the offer, but the gentle pressure on her shoulder was enough to make her accede to his wishes. She sat and crossed her arms over her chest. Gandalf took the opposite chair and leaned forward. 'From your words, I take it you have talked with Thorin and he told you of the plan?'

Dis wiped her hand across her face. 'Yes he did. I refuse to allow it! I have lost too many of my kin because of Erebor. I will not lose anymore especially my dear sons. What are you thinking? Thorin had at last reached a place of some contentment. Now you come along and start raising unfounded hope.'

'It is for the good of Middle Earth, Dis. Smaug's presence in the North may have grave consequences for the future. I think it is best if someone goes and surveys the situation. Thorin agrees. Wouldn't you like to see him on his rightful throne?' Gandalf explained.

'No, Erebor has been a curse on this family for far too long. I want nothing to do with it. In one way or another it cost me a grandfather, father, brother and husband. I will not sacrifice my sons and brother in a hopeless quest for gold. And what exactly will a small band of dwarves be able to accomplish? What is your plan?' she all but snarled. 'Do you intend to take on the dragon yourself or throw my kin at him and hope he turns tail and runs?'

Gandalf had the grace to look slightly uncomfortable. 'Well, it is mainly to go and look. I really don't have a plan as yet. I am sure something will come to me when the time it is right. I will be with them every step of the way. All I know is that we must not postpone our departure. Time is short.' Once again that nagging doubt surfaced in his brain, but he ignored it.

Dis narrowed her eyes. 'Hmmm, no plan. Does Thorin know that? I don't trust you. You are a wizard, correct? If you can take on this dragon why do you need my family? You can go by yourself and have your little look-see can't you? Leave us alone.'

'Well, like I said, Thorin wanted to come. He _is_ the rightful heir.' Even to himself his words sounded weak.

'So my brother just _happened_ to run into you and you just _happened_ to be thinking of going North and he just _happened_ to have a desire to regain his throne. That is an awful lot of 'just happened'. I've heard a thing or three about you wizards. I will not tolerate my sons getting involved with the likes of you!' She abruptly rose from her chair. 'Erebor is lost and should remain lost.'

'But it is for the good of all Middle Earth, Dis. Don't you care about that? The dragon is a mighty foe,' Gandalf made one last attempt.

Dis snorted. 'Middle Earth? I care very little for Middle Earth. What has it ever done for me and mine? We were starving and Middle Earth watched. Neither the Elves nor Men lifted a finger to help. Oh, we have done alright in the last few decades, but that is because of our own hard work and sacrifice. Even today we suffer the taunts of the others. They look down on us and use our skills when they need them, but they are rarely our friends. Again I tell you, I will not see my family used as pawns in some bigger game. I will do everything in my power to stop you, wizard, see if I don't.' Before he could reply, she stalked quickly to the door, flung it open and was gone.

Gandalf stared after the departing hurricane. Dis had not entered into his calculations before. He realized that omission might come back to haunt him.

….

Thorin was livid. The plans had been finalized that day and he had wanted to depart the next morning. Now he heard that Dis had gone and yelled at Gandalf. He would need to calm her down before he left. Fili and Kili were upset about the whole situation and rethinking leaving their amad. He walked toward her room. It was out of the way and at the top of a narrow, winding staircase. He always found it rather difficult to navigate, but Dis liked it. 'It keeps the riff raff away,' she explained.

Now he stood wavering on the narrow step outside her door. He gathered his thoughts. He would make one more stab at convincing her this was the right thing to do. If he didn't succeed, he was determined to leave anyway. He knocked softly and called her name.

The door opened and Dis stood there, her eyes red-rimmed and still angry. 'Well, have you come to tell me you have decided to stay?'

Thorin maneuvered his way through the door and into her sitting room. The table had crates of supplies that Dis had brought back with her from the trip to the outlying villages. She was sorting fruit and the scent filled the air. 'No, I have not. I have come to try and make peace before I leave. I also wanted to say how disappointed I am in your behavior toward our guest, Gandalf. Certainly you have heard the saying, 'do not meddle in the affairs of wizards for they are subtle and quick to anger?' We need him if we are to have any chance of success.'

'I have heard it and it makes me all the more wary of this whole plan, Thorin. I beg you not to go. I see only sorrow at the end for me and mine.' She put her hands on his shoulders. '_Please_ don't go. Or at the very least, leave Fili and Kili behind. They are all I have left.'

Thorin reached up and covered her hands with his. 'I must do this. It is my right to rule Erebor and I will not pass up this opportunity. There is nothing you can say to change my mind.'

'Then you will go without my blessing, Thorin. I can only hope that someday I will see you again.' She slid her hands from his and returned to sorting her fruit.

'The last time I checked, I was still the head of this family and my decision stands.' He had intended to speak softly and gently, but the thought of not pursuing the gold took control of his tongue and his words grew harsher as he spoke. He turned and began to fit his broad shoulders through the door.

As he lifted his foot to begin the descent, Dis called out, 'Wait, Thorin, catch!' It was an old game they had played often as children, and his instinct took over. He turned rapidly and saw an apple being flung at him by his sister. The act of putting his hands up to catch it caused him to lose his balance and he fell down the narrow stairway.

Dis watched as the fall began and winced when she heard the audible snapping of a bone as it met unyielding stone. Rushing to the door, she saw Thorin's leg at a most improbable angle. 'Oohh, that looks painful. You won't be going anywhere for months!' she said with a small, sly smile.

…

The moral of the story: While wizards are subtle and quick to anger, mothers are devious and quick to act!


End file.
